1.Get Off The Track
Not being a millionaire (yet) can be a bit of a bummer. For instance, earlier this year, I couldn’t afford to go to my high school friend’s wedding. Alisha checked in a few times in the lead up to the big day and my responses had been a resolute “I am 100% there!”
I had business ideas. I was going to be rich any minute.
The wedding was in the most remote city in the world and it was going to cost me an arm and a leg to get there. A few weeks before, when I still wasn’t rich, I sent her a groveling video message confessing that I couldn’t afford to go. “I’m so sorry,” I despaired “I’ve probably ruined your seating plan and your catering and everything”. Alisha called me laughing and said “seriously no worries mate. We don’t’ even have a seating plan! And we confirm numbers with the caterer the day before.” They went on to have the best day ever.
One Sports Day, when Alisha and I were about 15-years-old, an announcement came over the load speaker. Neither Cavel (my sports house) nor Nightingale (Alisha’s sports house) had someone running in the 1,500 meters. Alisha and I were walking across the oval and stopped to look at each other. Then Alisha exclaimed “let’s do it!”
“I don’t know”, I hesitated, “you’re like the fastest person here. And I’m not even that fit.”
“I’ll run with you” she promised “it will be so much fun!” She had grabbed my arms and was jumping up and down .
“Okay” I laughed, “let’s do it!”
To make it before the cap gun went off we had to run around the track to the starting line. “I guess it’s the 17-hundred race for us!” Alisha joked. Then we were off. Everyone was sprinting full out as though we were running a much shorter race. After 200 meters of sprinting a stitch began radiating under my right ribcage and I slowed down to a jog and gripped my side with my right hand. Alisha began to run backwards and tried to chat with me but I was concentrating too hard on my personal suffering to talk.
“Do you mind if I run ahead?” she eventually asked, looking a bit bored.
“Please. Yes. Go.” I rasped. Even though Alisha had spent at least a couple of minutes slowly jogging backwards while everyone else had zoomed ahead, she finished second. Second! Meanwhile when I round the final bend to run the last 100-meters, the race had long been over and dozens of students were meandering across the track to get to their next event. This is when Mrs Lennigas choose to yell over the loud speaker, “Everybody get off the track! Rachel is still running!” People begun to laugh and cheer and even though my stitch was now stabbing sharply at my abdomen, I waved and smile/grimaced at the line of girls roaring out their encouragement from the sidelines.
Above: I was reminded of this story recently when my brother in law sent me this video of my niece Meg running a very similar race to Alisha.
When we were getting ready to finish high school most people were stressing out about applying to universities. I for one had spent hours pouring over the Bullseye Career Posters that the Australian government had issued. They were colorful diagrams made up of concentric circles. A school subject was in the center and the careers you could consider were written in the outer rings. After much deliberation I had decided to apply to architecture school.
Alisha on the other hand wasn’t exactly sure what to do. And this is when the Life Map was invented (my version of a life map anyway). As she spoke through the different options she saw for herself I drew them out in a diagram—a kind of map of possibilities. After fifteen minutes of expelling things that teachers and other adults had suggested to her (technical college, hospitality, tourism etc) we finally got to the truth. She had heard of a new program up North that accepted 8 people to do a 2-year adventure program. We worked hard on her application and Alisha got in! She then spent two years navigating through remote rainforests, conducting swift water rescues, and going on long kayaking expeditions in salt water crocodile territory. “It was epic! So good!” says Alisha.
Alisha, center, with her fellow guides Malcom and Robert leading professional jungle treks in the tropics.
I went on to become an architect and worked in New Delhi for a year for Raj Rewal and later for the in-house architects at the Budapest zoo. Alisha went on to lead expeditions across the globe and, for a laugh, represented the Cook Islands in the World Outrigger Canoe sprints.
Me at a rest stop during a long bus ride in India.
2.Still Running
Whats the moral of this week’s (extra long) story?
Maybe it’s that it is going to hurt if you’re running someone else’s race. No, that’s not quite it.
Maybe it’s that sometimes finishing last by a mile is celebrated more than finishing second even though you were dawdling for the first half of the race. It’s the courage to finish even when it’s really embarrassing that’s being celebrated (and, you know, laughed at). No, that’s not quite it either.
Maybe it’s that Alisha and I were lucky to know who we were as teenagers. Even if we didn’t know we knew. If you know what I mean. Yes, that’s probably it.
Alisha and I had become friends at thirteen when we were both put in the remedial english class. But even if we couldn’t articulate it at the time, we both knew where our smarts were. And the fact that our smarts were not purely in high school academia was a fairly neutral point to us.
My smarts are in my imagination for the world. Alisha’s smarts are in her adventures with the world. And that’s not remedial. That’s perfect.
After all: –
"The more neatly you fit into society, the less free you actually are." —Naval
3.Updates & Asks
Update: Our next Board of Kid Directors program is set to start in September and parents can now register their interest.
One of my favorite parts about the program is that we run each session like an actual board meeting. We write our own bylaws, have an agenda, approve the meeting minutes from last week, and vote to pass motions. Why are we leaning into this “boring” stuff. It’s because the language and formality of board meetings often times form a moat around spaces of power. We are all about filling in that moat with understanding and accessibility. We are all about normalizing that spaces of power look just like us.
As one of our inaugural Kid Directors Jamaica said: As a Kid Director I feel important and powerful.
Above: Some of the inaugural Kid Directors on our enrollment website.
Ask: Send this link to all the parents of all your favorite 7- to 11-year-olds!
Update: Map Society—I had four incredible 1:1 Map Sessions with amazing entrepreneurs this week.
One lesson I learned is that when people are experiencing friction with the world around them (being called annoying, or being shut down, or asked to be small) it is oftentimes because they are expressing an authentic part of themselves that does not fit in with the culture around them. It’s a good clue because it often points to a person’s unique contribution to the world. Often times all we need to do is find the right people to collaborate with. Oh, and muster up a lot of courage.
Ask: I now have an incredible series of Map Offerings for Workplaces. The primary focus is on empowering managers and connecting teams to their own greatness and the mission of their work. If you know of any work places that may be interested please let me know.