025 We Can All Be Philanthropists

Who I'm donating to this year.

1.Want To Be Happy? Give.

My father, who worked most of his life in a bus factory, was displeased when I chose to study architecture. It was a long degree for a pretty unpredictable income at the end of it. It made absolutely no economic sense. Also, it wasn’t engineering. Also, architects drove Citreons, “the most useless car ever made”. Also, he told me conspiratorially, “people at the architecture building tend to be the ones that dress a bit strange”. He had meant this to deter me but it only confirmed to the 17-year-old me that I had absolutely chosen the right path.

I was an arty socially-minded child and my engineery fiscally-conservative father did not spend a lot of time being curious about, let alone actively supportive of, “my dreams”. In my twenties this hurt. But once I hit thirty my Dad broke precedent and flew to New York City. I had bribed him with the promise of a trip to Florida to make one of his dreams come true. The kind of dream that is so true that it gets deeply buried within one’s psyche as a painful impossibility. I took him to see a rocket launch.

At the rocket launch I finally grew up. I learned that making my father’s dream com true felt a million times better than wandering around wounded because he wasn’t making mine come true. I learned that the secret to happiness is not to receive, but to give.

2.Who I’m Giving To This Year

I talk about giving because it’s nearing the end of the year. The coming month of December is an agreed upon time (both culturally with the holidays, and fiscally with potential tax deductions) to give. It’s a chance for you to align your resources with your values and to know yourself as generous and dedicated to the world beyond your own personal sphere. It is a chance to make yourself very happy.

I am thrilled to share who I’m giving to this year. I write who because I’ve been coaching an early stage not-for-profit founder who I absolutely believe in. Perhaps a little bit narcissitically she reminds me so much of myself when I first started Young New Yorkers.

Drum Roll….

I am thrilled to introduce you to Vicky Garalina, the founder of Inspiring Futures, an organization supporting children in foster care to graduate from high school and college, and go on to live inspired futures.

Vicky’s Story:

Vicky set up Inspiring Futures because she herself was a teenager who was intermittently hospitalized for mental health issues here in New York. Unfortunately her suffering was intensified when she felt isolated from the very people intending to help her, her service providers. This left teenage Vicky feeling alone and without hope.

As Vicky grew up she eventually moved to Los Angeles to start over. She became a licensed therapist aiming to be a more relatable service provider for young people, so that fewer young people would feel like she did.

Vicky’s first job out of school was in a group home for youth in foster care. She saw amazing young people stuck day in and day out in a congregate setting because the system could not find homes due to them being labeled “high risk”. Knowing foster parents were emotionally burning out, she thought. “I know!, I don’t have a heart. I won’t burn out. I’ll become a foster parent!”

Vicky with her child D in 2016.

So a 26 years old Vicky, who genuinely thought she did not have a heart (probably because she had been numbing out her emotions since she was a child), became a foster parent to several amazing teenagers. After nearly a year, she accepted a placement for her youngest child, nine year old, D. This was like putting an ice cube in a volcano. D needed hugs, and loving words, and a genuine parent. Vicky was surprised (and quite alarmed) that her heart, which she had sworn was unable to feel, started to feel things. As D wrapped her arms around Vicky and asked for bedtime stories, her heart melted.

Eight years after welcoming her first children into her home, Vicky has gone on to foster 14 kids, moved back to New York from Los Angeles, has founded Inspiring Futures to better support children in foster care, and even gotten married!

Vicky (right) on her wedding day with her now adult child K (center) and wife (left), 2023.

Founding Inspiring Futures:

Vicky founded Inspiring Futures after returning to New York because she was confronted by some unique structural barriers in the foster care system here. Namely that children are siloed within agencies and tend to only receive the limited supports offered by that particular agency, rather than the support they uniquely need.

This shows up in the statistics:

“In New York City specifically, [where her organization is based], the high school graduation rate for youth in foster care is just 21%. College graduation rates are even lower, sitting at 3%. This is a huge problem, as young people without a high school diploma or GED are 346% more likely to experience homelessness.”

—Inspiring Futures Website

Predictably (and painfully) people tend to blame the young people themselves, writing them off as “lazy” or “stupid” or worse, “screw ups”.

The reality is that youth impacted by the child welfare system, no matter how capable and bright they are, have to juggle their academics with unstable home environments, a heightened risk of mental health issues, and the looming threat of rejection.

—Inspiring Futures Website

We can do so much better. Inspiring Futures is building a world where young people in foster care are welcomed as the smart and wise young people they are, and offered the supports they need in order to thrive.

The amazing Inspiring Futures youth are not pictured on account of confidentiality, but here are some of the siblings in the Garalina household.

Inspiring Futures’ Model:

1. They start with meeting every child where they are. What are the youth’s needs, what are their strengths?

2. They pair each youth with uniquely qualified educational specialists and mental health therapists to help them navigate the educational system and persist towards graduation.

3. Inspiring Futures works at a structural and cultural level at the same time. Now we all know how much I think working directly with kids AND on the system failing them same time is important to me. Inspiring Futures does this by training organizations and educational institutions on topics related to the intersection of mental health and education, trauma-informed care, and how to create a college-going culture, to help adults and systems in the youth’s lives be better prepared to support them on their journeys.

Vicky and siblings D and K going on a hike in Los Angeles, 2018

On Being A Start Up Not For Profit:

When you look at Inspiring Futures website you may think, well this is no Amnesty International. No its not. It’s a local, start-up, not-for-profit that addresses an acute need with a profound sensitivity that comes from a depth of expertise and lived experience. The website may not be glossy, but the work on the ground is exceptional.

In the time that I have been working with Vicky I have watched her lead her organization to:

• Go from being fiscally sponsored to having it’s own 501c3

• Partner with more than 50 young people touched by the child welfare system

• Train nearly 200 supportive adults through their workshops

• Launch youth workshops and groups to supplement their individual programming.

This coming year Inspiring Futures plans to:

• Hire full-time therapists and educational specialists to increase program capacity and serve more youth.

• Implement pre and post outcome measures to better examine program areas that are working and those that can be improved

• Create a pathway for youth graduates of Inspiring Futures to lead or mentor younger youth

If you want your end of year donation to have bang for the buck give to Inspiring Futures. The kids are extraordinary, and so is the founder and her growing team.

Vicky and I on one of our zoom coaching calls, 2023.

Postscripts:

PS—Yes I will TOTALLY be sending handwritten thank you notes to anyone who donates to this organization on my behalf! So much gratitude to you!

PPS—Vicky shared her story with me for over two hours and has approved everything I have written here. She is excited that some of you may join the Inspiring Futures community (and so am I!)